Admit it. You can never get enough sex in your life. Right?
We know the problem. You get to a certain age, and suddenly the girls start calling you granddad (or granny if you're a member of the other half of the species), and they start asking you what you did in the war and if your nose hair tickles.
But staying sexy is largely a state of mind. You have to fake it until you make it, and you'll make it a lot more often if the sexy young things catch you wearing one of these here Triumph 1050 T-shirts. Seriously, we tried it with laboratory rabbits. And ya shoulda seen the way they started breeding. Like rabbits, it was. Embarrassing, or what?
This cool chest rag helps us grovel at the sump of the illustrious future-classic Triumph 1050 engine, and it can help you get down on your knees and ... well, do whatever you have to do when you're down there.
We devised the SET YOURSELF THREE slogan to help remind us what riding one of these bikes is all about. So okay, those words ain't exactly Shakespearean prose, but this motor has more than enough mechanical poetry going on in its oily innards to compensate for any literary deficit of ours.
That aside, these T-shirts are high quality pre-shrunk cotton and printed (right here in England) via the durable and traditional silk-screening process. We've been strutting around in the pre-production examples and doing what we reasonably can to destroy 'em, but they're resisting well (we're trying the shotgun test tonight, so keep your eyes on our news pages).
The bottom line? If you ride a 1050 Triumph and want to have sex eight or nine times a day, you just gotta hang one of these on your chest. The first batch is flying out the door right now. They're available in black only, and there's one with your name on it. The price is just £19.99 plus P&P.
Get yours while they're going because, like the 1050 engine, they'll shift pretty fast (and you ain't getting any younger, brother/sister).
TRIUMPH 1050 T-shirt dimensions
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All Sump T-shirt designs are produced entirely by us right here in Sumpland. We're not claiming any connection with any other group, organisation, company, manufacturer, institution, body, retailer or fly-by-night-merchant. Sump T-shirts are not available anywhere else unless they're being pirated. If you've got any copyright concerns, disputes, threats or similar, fire off an email and we'll look into it when we next sober up.
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